One of the core values I desire to communicate is that hospitality is not about the food or how your house is decorate or if your dishes match.
It’s about connection . As a #2 enneagram, my true motivation for literally almost everything I do is connection driven. Honestly I bet that’s actually why I learned to cook. I just love creating those moments.
Everything I do to prepare for a gathering starts with the same questions. Whether Im arranging flowers, moving furniture for a party or planning a menu for a weeknight family dinner, I start with the same questions //
‘What is the Connection I’m looking for’
‘ What atmosphere or flavor can I create that will move us into that Connection’
Often, creating the moment I’m looking for is much more simple than I’d thought.
I’ll share two of my favorite moments from this past month //
1. Pizza with Yvonne
Yvonne invited us her new home! I really LOVE connecting with Yvonne, she’s absolutely fascinating and conversion just flows so easily.
- pizza and salad from Blackrock Pizza
- Ice Cream Sunday’s with as many gummy bears as you can fit
-endless sparkling waters (our entire family is totally addicted)
We had such a beautiful and relaxing evening. The food was so so good and I felt total enjoyment knowing that my friend had served what felt life bringing for her - she brought her best self to hosting.
Yvonne told me she felt stressed out about cooking so ordered from a restaurant she loved. To me, this is absolutely genius because it kept her present in the true desire for our evening - connection. I admire that so much.
I left that special family evening feeling totally high on life! Connected with Yvonne and my family, and savoring the flavor of really good local Pizza!
Moral of this story : Order Takeout
2. Black Beans on the Beach
I'm one of 8 children. And most of us have several children too. When even a few of us get together it’s really loud. My grandmother (she’s 89) visited us here in Hawaii so of course we wanted to have a time together as the ‘3 Hawaii Siblings’ with our visiting extended family.
The problem was our houses are too small to contain the amount of energy that comes from a large amount of children.
The goal was for Grandma to see the great-Grandchildren in their element and for the grown-ups to have meaningful conversation, to be able to truly ‘catch up’ .
- My Dad and I made a simple pot of Black Beans and Rice, Brazilian style. With paper plates and a slice of avocado on top… easy cooking, easy eating, and easy cleanup.
We served food from the back of my truck and sat in sand at our favorite Beach . The children played in the evening waves and were proud to show off their tricks for Grandma, Grandpa and Great Grandma. We talked and laughed, cooing over the littlest one’s and marveling at the Moon as it appeared over Hualalai mountain after sunset.
I left the evening feeling sandy, happy, known. There were no dishes to do or floors to mop. I slept well 🤍
Moral of this Story : Get outside! Be willing to change up where you hang out - which location will best serve your ultimate goal of connection?
I share these stories to hopefully release you to host connection points, your way. Order take out, hit the beach, don’t be held back by fear of not ‘doing it right’. Host out of who you are, that’s going to form the most genuine connections of all .